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Hedda Dishes :: A visit from Jesus (not the one she met on Craig’s List)

by Hedda Lettuce
Wednesday Jan 11, 2012

Hello gentle Americans. I almost lost my breath at my holiday show, "Lettuce Rejoice" (at the Metropolitan Room), this Christmas Eve.

After I was done talking about the story of Chanukah, I nervously watched my vodka shake in my martini glass as the room began to rattle. Audience members dropped to the floor and hid under their tables, as one person screamed out, "Earthquake!" My dress was too tight for me to drop along with them, so I braced myself against the piano as the room began to fill with this white, glittery smoke that smelled like frankincense, lavender and a camel's ass. When the smoke had cleared, standing before me, was Jesus himself. Well, he was not standing before me; he was standing upon the piano. I know, you're rightfully asking yourself, "How can a grown man stand on a piano?"

Let me respond by saying this: Jesus was much shorter than I had expected. Perhaps drag queens have grown over the millenniums, but standing at only 2 inches high, he looked me straight into my breasts and said, "I have come here tonight to wish you and all your fans a Merry Christmas, and to remind you about the true meaning of Christmas -The birth of me, your Savior."

Hedda Lettuce is NYC premier Drag Comic. Hedda has appeared with the likes of Sarah Jessica Parker, Tyra Banks, Vanessa Williams and Madonna on such television shows as Project Runway, Sex and the City, The Tyra Banks Show, the MTV Movie Awards and Ugly Betty. Hedda is one of the stars of The Sundance Channel’s new reality show-Garo Unleased and was on LOGO’s DRAGTASTIC! Hedda’s film appearances include: The Look (Carol Alt), Too Wong Foo, GO GO CRAZY from the producers of The Big Gay Musical, Violet Tendencies and Musical Chairs. She has been in numerous Off-Broadway shows and her annual holiday show-Lettuce Rejoice-has been a sold out event for the past ten years. Miss Lettuce has also had the pleasure of working with many high-profile charity events. For the past ten years, Hedda has been hosting a classic movie night, at the Clearview Chelsea Cinemas. This past June, Miss Lettuce celebrated her 11th anniversary hosting classic films at the legendary Ziegfeld Theater.


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