Entertainment » Celebrities

Popups :: Hollywood’s Messiest Week

by Jason St. Amand
National News Editor
Friday May 9, 2014

Whoo-boy. Hollywood had a one-way ticket on the hot mess express this week, starting with the annual Met Gala, held on May 5 at New York City's Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute.

This year's Met Gala theme was centered around Charles James, a fashion designer known for structured high fashion dresses, which basically means you can wear anything you want (unlike the 2013 event, when the theme was punk...which no one stuck to). Anyway, do you know what happens when celebs are told they wear whatever they want to a high profiled event? Hilarious things happen, my friend.

While some looked fabulous, like Beyonce all in black (though that stunt with Jay Z, the faux wedding proposal was tacky) the classy-fied Kanye and Kim K., the pretty-in-pink Taylor Swift and Anne Hathaway in stunning red, there were plenty of others on the messy side of the spectrum.

America's Most Beautiful Woman Lupita Nyong'o looked like she got tangled in some seaweed, Kristen Stewart looked like a cross between Avril Lavigne and Lisa Lampanelli, and Johnny Depp looked like he was still stuck in wardrobe from a Tim Burton flick.

But it was Neil Patrick Harris and boo David Burtka who wore the messiest shit imaginable. Decked out in matching crop top tuxes, ankle-length tails and high water pants, the couple looked like they were ready to film the Liberace sequel, "Behind the Candelabra: The Zombie Years." Doogie, don't let "Hedwig" get to you!

Speaking of NPH, he graced the cover of Rolling Stone this month and I can't decide which is worse: Liberace-Harris or Queen-of-the-Twinks Harris. Regardless, if you're into that sorta thing you're going to be in love with his nude cover.

But one good thing did come of the Gala -- that was Bradley Cooper, who was once a svelte Hollywood hunk but is now apparently morphing into a bear. Reports say Cooper, who is also sporting a grizzly beard, gained 40 pounds for a movie role. Maybe he's going going to a play a gay man hunting for love on Scruff. If nothing else, he could be the dating app's poster boy, or poster bear?

While a handful of Hollywood’s A-list were displaying their God-awful outfits earlier this week, things behind the glitz and glam weren’t much better. The hottest mess not in the spotlight was Britney Spears. That Grape Juice reports Spears has been accused of breaking the nose of one of her dancers, after allegedly backhanding the performer during the video shoot of "Work Bitch" last year.

Brit allegedly broke Dawn Noel’s nose in the most Britney Spears way possible. The dancer, who filed a lawsuit in Los Angeles this week, claims the pop icon arrived to a rehearsal for the video "in a disheveled and confused state" and having trouble performing "fairly basic moves." Shocker.

Spears then "twirled in an unbalanced and reckless manner, arms extended out to her side, and forcefully backhanded me in the face," the dancer says in the suit. That’s pretty believable, Dawn. Just show the judge or whoever the "Work Bitch" video as evidence - Brit does look disheveled...she does look confused...and even has trouble pulling off fairly basic moves. She barely has enough energy to crack that whip hard enough to break the skin.

In other messy news, Avril Lavigne, who is coming off the drama of her racist music video "Hello Kitty," was made fun of around the web for her shitty meet and greet photos. Avril fans (lol) apparently spent $400 (LOL) to take terrible photos with the pop rock musician in Brazil. According to BuzzFeed, the singer has a "no touching" policy and it’s pretty clear by the photos.

Four-hundred-dollars to stand next to the wife of the lead singer of one of the worst rock bands in history. You can view the photos over at BuzzFeed, which compares the pics to Rihanna’s epic meet and greet pictures. But before you do, here are some things you can do with $400 that are not taking photos next to Avril:

1. Buy a lot of pizzas
2. Invest in bitcoins
3. Buy a WiiU and a bunch of games
4. Buy shitty tickets to Beyonce’s and Jay Z’s "On the Run Tour"
5. Put a down-payment on a pair of Google glasses
6. Buy a lot more pizzas

But please, do not ever spend $400 to stand next to Avril Lavigne.

OK. Let’s talk about Cher. In this week’s most bizarre collaboration, Cher is going to be on the upcoming Wu-Tang Clan album. Pitchfork reports the iconic hip-hop group previewed their record, "Once Upon a Time in Shaolin," which featured Ghostface Killa and Cher.

Cher’s reps confirmed to Rolling Stone that she contributed vocals to two tracks on the upcoming album: "She recorded her parts separately, so I don’t believe there was direct interaction," the rep said.

On the clip previewed, Cher sings, "Wu-Tang, baby. They rock the world." Blimey.

Listen below (at the 1:23 mark):

Bonus: In an interview with Marie Claire magazine, Jennifer Lawrence self-realized and said knows that her 15-minutes will eventually come to a close and that we’ll all get tired of her crazy ass.

She says, "nobody can stay beloved forever" but still managed to make you want her to be your BFF and invite you over for a sleep over when she said that she voted for Lupita to win the Oscar she was also nominated for.


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