Six Heart-Warming ’How-I-Realized-I’m-Gay’ Stories
This is [serious]. When the word falls into brackets in a title on a Reddit forum question, you know things are about to get real.
And that was exactly the case early morning Sunday, Aug. 18, when Reddit user Innunium asked the news and community website Reddit, known for its Democratic approach to the relevance of information. The headline of the post says it all: "[Serious] Gay/Lesbian Redditors, when did your first know you were a homosexual? How long did it take you to accept your sexuality?"
If the designation of gay and lesbian upsets you, worry not. An edit to the title says that, of course, "bisexuals, asexuals, etc." are invited to answer.
Here are the top six user-upvoted (when users give "points" to a comment, it displays further up the page) stories from the thread.
1. From mrskipper69:
I can remember watching Tarzan movies as a kid (early as 3 years old) and being attracted to his muscled arms and chest. I didn't know anything about sex that young, but I knew I wanted that man to hold me in his arms. I got in trouble at my 5th birthday part [sic] for kissing one of the other boys.
2. From MusicalBMs:
Jesus, super young. Like right about that age 9 or 10 when you start to notice what sex is, and attraction, etc. Then puberty happened shortly after and I remember being at Disneyland and seeing a person with a really neat haircut. For some reason, neat hairlines were really attractive to me and when the person turned around and was a woman, I was really put off by it. That was when I realized I liked men. Had to have been 12?
Accepted it by 6th grade, Mom kind of PFLAG-ed it out of me. She monitored my Internet use, found gay sites and wasted no time confronting me after school. It was such a sudden bombardment, I shut down for 3 weeks. I started to find pamphlets left all over the house, on the bed, on the seat in my car, on my desk, on my French Horn... They were all "Confused? How to deal," "A list of famous gay people," "How to answer the questions about your sexuality." I took each one and read it, and finally had the courage the talk to my mom about it. She said she still loved me, it doesn't matter and then life resumed.
3. From ChandraCorby:
Oh dear god. It took me forever. I mean, part of me knew by age four but first I didn't have a name for it, then I thought lesbians wanted to be men and I didn't want to be a man. And then how I felt was a sin. And then I was too busy to think about it. And then, finally, in a women's bookstore, my subconscious rose up and slapped me silly and laid out all the evidence that I was indeed a lesbian. I was in my mid-thirties.
I'm fifty-three now. I can't even begin to tell you how my life would have been different if I just could have not spent so much energy hiding from myself and everyone else for so very long.
4. From puckofloxley:
January 1, 2000. Memphis, TN I was a 16 year old conservative Christian that was spending the night at my brand new best friend's house. He had a queen sized waterbed and no other room to really pass out after the night's wild and crazy straight edge festivities. If you've ever shared a waterbed, you know where this is going.
Woke up at 4 AM and we were both in the center of the bed at the bottom of the valley, spooning. I was the big spoon and felt so very good. Suddenly realized I had a boner, and was hornier than i've ever been. Realized I was gay right there and thought two defeated words: "Oh shit."
So as I said: southern, conservative, Christian. I went to ex-gay therapy pretty much immediately. I'll tell you about it if you're curious, but damn if it didn't just fuck me up mentally for my whole life. After my suicide attempt and some damn good acting I went to college completely numb. Spent the whole freshman year researching everything I could about homosexuality, the Bible, and where the two clashed. A dorm mate's brother was in seminary and actually writing a paper on the subject so he gave me a bunch of reading material that finally convinced me that I was alright and not an abomination (what a shitty thing to tell someone BTW). Finally came to terms with it then...somewhat.
5. From murrrrca:
I finally realized what was going on about 8 months ago (now a 20 year old male), but for years I've been checking out guys and watching gay porn. It's really remarkable how your brain can do so many mental gymnastics to convince yourself that you're "normal." I did a lot of research into asexuality - I think it was easier for me to reject all notions of sexuality than to accept my own.
So in May I came out to one of my best friends and it was the scariest thing I've ever done. I knew he had a gay brother so I knew he wouldn't care, but it didn't make me any less fearful. I told him, he was like "yeah I assumed so," and he's super supportive and great. Three days later I met this cool guy at a kickback (who I would've bet was straight - I have terrible gaydar it's really inconvenient) and of course I think he is the cutest thing ever but I don't really have the confidence to pursue it yet. I wanted to figure things out for myself before dragging some other poor soul into the mix with me.
Turns out he was in the same stage of coming out as I was. The next week I had him over and made shrimp tacos with an avocado salsa and it came up and we talked for hours about it and it was so incredibly cathartic to have someone in the same position that I was.
About to celebrate two months officially together and if he doesn't stop being so damn cute all the time he's gonna make me fall in love with him pretty soon, the bastard.
6. From That_One_Australian:
Bisexual bloke here.
As far back as I can remember I've always liked guys & girls, but, I didn't exactly understand why until later on in my life.
And I guess I'm lucky in that I never really had an internal struggle with it, I mean, after kissing a guy for the first time it just kind of clicked into place that "Hey, I like girls...but this also feels right", so after a brief discussion with my brother I found that the label of bisexual accurately described the way that I felt.