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Get Rich Quick Scheme Backfires: Malawi Man Loses Penis to Hyena

Sunday Apr 6, 2014

Investing with Bernie Madoff is suddenly a good idea again ... in comparison.

From the acupuncturist's needle to the hypnotist's dangling medallion, alternative medicine has long been known to possess unexplained powers to cure many of life's ills from insomnia to back pain. A Malawi man following the instructions of a witch doctor recently found out the hard way that money problems are something best left to financial professionals. The New York Daily News reports:

Chamangeni Zulu, a man aged somewhere between 20 and 24, on the instructions of a witch doctor who promised riches in return, went into the bush naked to offer parts of his body to wild animals. A hyena showed up and devoured three toes and his penis.

He is recovering Chipata General Hospital in Zambia where doctors say his condition is stable.

Zulu narrated the account to the Times of Zambia from his hospital bed.

"I came from Malawi and when I arrived in Chipata I met some business persons who told me that the best way to become rich was to sacrifice parts of my body. On 24th March, 2014 around 04:00 hours, I went to a bush where I was instructed to be naked and a hyena came to me and started eating my toes and eventually my manhood was eaten."

He said that the witchdoctor told him that he would encounter a hyena, but failed to specify which body parts would be eaten..

After the account with the hyena, he crawled to a nearby road where police picked him up and took him to the hospital.

"Even if I have lost some important parts of my body, I still want to get rich," he said.


  • fpcinnyc, 2014-04-06 15:01:03

    Oh that’s rich!

  • GAG'EM, 2014-04-08 23:46:23

    Anyone that stupid shouldn’t procreate anyway.

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