Feb 22
Alan Cumming Calls Not Having Kids in First Marriage a 'Blessing'
Emell Adolphus READ TIME: 2 MIN.
Alan Cumming isn't just the well-dressed host of the hit show "The Traitors." He's an iconic actor with a career that spans decades, and he is also very much in touch with his sexuality as a bisexual man.
Yet, according to Cumming, his life could have turned out very different if he had kids in his first marriage. The 59-year-old told People magazine that he was seeking validation when he married Hilary Lyon in 1985, and it was a "blessing" that kids did not come into the picture.
"That's not a great thing to do," Cumming said. "I wouldn't recommend that. I was 21 when I got married the first time. I knew I was bisexual when I was married the first time, as did my wife."
According to Cumming, Lyon and he tried to have a child before divorcing, and he said life would have been "very different" if he did become a dad then.
"I have friends who deal with, they've broken up and they're co-parenting. I think that's really difficult," Cumming said. "I think of it as a blessing that didn't happen because of the way that my life went afterwards and how difficult it would've been. I probably wouldn't have had the inclination to come and live in America, perhaps, if that meant I wasn't going to see my child. Everything happens for a reason."
Cumming publicly came out in 1998 after appearing in several iconic gay films, including "Romy and Michele's High School Reunion" and "Spice World."
"I decided to talk about my sexuality because there was so much speculation and there was no way to talk about it unless you made a big statement and came out," he explained. "I had to find a publication that I felt would talk about my sexuality and the nuance of that in a way where I felt I could control the narrative and it wouldn't be sensationalized. One of the good things about social media – there are many negative things – is that you can actually get your message across. That didn't exist before."
A four-time Emmy nominee, Cumming is now happily paired with artist Grant Shaffer, marrying in 2007.
"When you've lived as long as I have – I've been in so many different sort of relationships and situations – I just think you have to think that if you're happy in the present, then all those things that happened before are a part of your happiness now," said Cumming. "And so you can't really wish to change them or have regrets."
In the words of Madonna, "Absolutely no regrets."
Look for Cumming on "The Traitors" on Thursdays at 9 p.m. ET on Peacock.
