Gay Trump Supporter's Tale of Woe Draws Blistering Clapback from Dan Savage

by Kilian Melloy

EDGE Staff Reporter

Friday May 11, 2018

Is the thrill for gay Trump supporters at seeing their candidate win the last presidential election now sullied by a #Loser status in the dating world? If so, sex advice columnist Dan Savage has typically unsparing advice for those lamenting a dry spell to go along with their political preferences.

In the May 9 edition of his column, Savage offered eviscerating tough love to a gay reader who wrote in complaining of his untouchability among a certain segment on hookup apps ever since Trump and his rabidly anti-LGBTQ administration took power.

The fellow writing in identified himself as "a 28-year-old gay white make living in Houston, Texas," and complained of seeing "a handful of profiles that explicitly state 'I do not sleep with republicans' [sic] or 'Trump supporters swipe left.' " The letter went on to admit, "As you might have guessed by now, these labels apply to me."

The blue-balled red stater went on to sketch out an ethical dilemma about not self-identifying to those who have made their standards known - a curious exercise considering that those with whom he's thrown in tend to regard gay sex of any kind to be unethical, and even sinful.

"If I sleep with someone while declining to volunteer information that would have caused them to withdraw consent, am I functionally sleeping with them without their consent?" the letter writer, who Savage dubbed SWITCH, wondered. "Does the interaction (however satisfying their orgasm) devolve into some sort of rape?"

Savage got to the point without delay.

"Fuck you, SWITCH," the columnist clapped. "Fuck you for being part of the racist, sexist problem. Fuck you for your deplorable vote in 2016."

Savage went on to draw a crucial distinction between how SWITCH presented himself and how others see him. "You aren't a member of a protected class," the sex advice columnist answered tartly. "You aren't being discriminated against on Grindr, Scruff, Recon, et al, for who you are, SWITCH, but for what you've done.

"Sensible, self-respecting gay men don't wanna fuck you because you did real and lasting harm to millions of your fellow Americans."

Savage then delineated between those who express a disinclination to hook up with people of a certain affect or physical type versus those who express reluctance to sleep with the enemy.

"Someone who puts 'no fats, no femmes, no Asians, no blacks' on your profile? That gay guy is mean spirited and that shit is unnecessary," Savage pointed out. "Someone who puts 'no Trump supporters' on his profile? That gay guy doesn't want to be alone in a room with someone who approves of gay bashing and who can blame him."

After laying into SWITCH, Savage answered the question, opining that it wouldn't be criminal to pretend not to be a Trump supporter or to allow someone to assume as much after ignoring their stated preferences. "It would be wrong, ethically speaking, but it wouldn't be rape. Just assholery."

Near the end of his column, Savage made the further observation that other gay Trump supporters are in the same boat, and added, "I know why I wouldn't fuck you but I don't understand why you guys don't fuck off and fuck each other. Unless... maybe you subconsciously find other gay Trump voters to be just as damaged and repulsive as A. Trump voters are and B. the rest of us are consciously aware you are."

In point of fact, there has been a rise of Trumpista or MAGA dating sites... but they seem to be limited to heterosexuals seeking others of like political philosophy. In one instance, a dating site for straight Trump supporters turned out to feature a registered sex offender and appeared, to some, to invite heterosexuals seeking extramarital affairs.

As if paralleling SWITCH's tale of woe, mainstream media has recently become aware of the phenomenon of "incels" - men who are "involuntarily celibate" - and begun to draw links, however tenuous, between incels and terrorism, speculating that sexual frustration can sometimes boil over into murderous rage that finds an outlet, and a justification, in ideologically-driven acts of mass murder.

Savage offered a final bit of life-improving wisdom: "I'm hoping you eventually see the error of your ways, SWITCH, and that you won't vote for racists, rapists, xenophobes, homophobes, transphobes, and wannabe authoritarians in the future."

Savage - who is openly gay, and who launched the "It Gets Better" movement by means of a YouTube video made with his husband, Terry - calls his column "Savage Love." He's earned the sobriquet: This is the same man who, in response to antigay calumnies from perennial presidential also-ran Rick Santorum, took to the Internet and managed to get Google's search engines to associate the former senator's surname with a "frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter."

Savage followed that up in 2011 with a threat to similarly "re-define" Santorum's first name.

Kilian Melloy serves as EDGE Media Network's Associate Arts Editor and Staff Contributor. His professional memberships include the National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Association, the Boston Online Film Critics Association, The Gay and Lesbian Entertainment Critics Association, and the Boston Theater Critics Association's Elliot Norton Awards Committee.