Watch: Lil Nas X Shares Moving Video About Struggles With Depression

by Kevin Schattenkirk

EDGE Media Network Contributor

Wednesday February 17, 2021

Lil Nas X
Lil Nas X   (Source:Instagram)

Lil Nas X posted a moving video to TikTok on Tuesday disclosing his struggles with depression, the Daily Mail reports.

The 21-year-old openly gay hip-hop sensation — whose birth name is Montero Lamar Hill — presents a video collage of photo and video footage from when he was a teenager, admitting he had "no friends" when he went to college. He started his post, "Hey I'm Lil Nas X, and this is my story. In 2017, I became the first of all my family to get into college. During college I was depressed, had no friends... and my grandmother passed."

The death of his grandmother also had a profound impact, as he began to suffer from hypochondria, writing "I started going to the doctor a lot in fear that I would d!e soon... hypochondria. In May 2018 I started making music. I was happy again!!!'"

The "Old Town Road" singer further reflected on his experience of dropping out of college to pursue music, moving in with his sister, getting kicked out and then moving into his brother's house where domestic violence was reportedly an everyday occurrence. He said there was an adverse impact on his music, "My sister kicked me out. my brother who was helping me left to the military & my songs were no longer doing good."

But then things take a turn for the better, toward success when he released his country-rap smash "Old Town Road" independently in Dec. 2018. The song, which prominently features a sample of Nine Inch Nails' "34 Ghosts IV," was then re-released by major label Columbia Records three months later in March 2019. The song reached the number one spot on the Billboard Hot 100 chart for a record-breaking 19 weeks. There was controversy when Billboard removed the song from their Hot Country Songs chart, where it peaked at number 19, because it allegedly did "not embrace enough elements of today's country music to chart in its current version."

Kevin Schattenkirk is an ethnomusicologist and pop music aficionado.

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