Watch: Gay BYU Valedictorian Tells Ellen Coming Out Was Frightening

He made it look so easy.

When Brigham Young University valedictorian Matthew Easton came out in a graduation speech last month, his confident ownership of his authentic self prompted cheers from fellow graduating students. Remarkably, school officials had read and pre-approved his remarks.

But even so, Easton disclosed during a recent appearance on "Ellen," while he attended the school, he lived with the fear that his authentic self might mean the loss of everything he'd worked so hard for, reported Salt Lake City news station KUTV.

In his speech, Easton cast his journey in scriptural terms, relating his experience in the closet to the spiritual struggles of Enos, a prophet in the Book of Mormon.
Said Easton: "It was in these quiet moments of pain and confusion that I felt another triumph, that of coming to terms, not with who I thought I should be, but who the Lord has made me."

Added the Political Science valedictorian, "As such, I stand before my family, friends and graduating class today to say that I am proud to be a gay son of God."

Easton told Ellen that there was also another, harder side to his journey.

"I'm trying to figure out my feelings, understand my faith, and on top of it, everyone is watching me," he related, speaking about his time at the Mormon university. "I was so worried and afraid of losing all I've worked for academically."

Easton referenced the school's "very strict honor code," KUTV reported.

At the start of their chat, talk show host Ellen DeGeneres observed that Easton had been "brave" in coming out, acknowledging that "it's a very, very difficult thing for a lot of people."

Easton agreed with that assessment and then talked about BYU's honor code. "We agree before we go can't drink alcohol, smoke tobacco, we can't enter into gay relationships... It's pretty tough there, sometimes, especially if you're gay."

"Yeah," Ellen said. "Or want a drink."

Ellen asked why Easton decided to come out publicly the way he did – as part of his commencement speech.

"[U]ltimately, I decided there's no better place to do it than here, you know," the young man explained. "I thought: "I'm ready, this is a new chapter in my life, I'm graduating, and I want to live more authentically, live more honestly. And more than that, I want to give visibility to the other students who are gay who maybe aren't so ready to come out."

Ellen asked whether Easton had been "nervous," and wondered whether he might have been tempted to "chicken out."

"Oh my gosh, my hands were so sweaty, I was so nervous," Easton said. "I was going back and forth, you know, 'I'm gonna do this!' 'No, I'm not gonna do it!' " But when he got to the podium, the young man said, "it just felt so right, I was so ready to do it."

Ellen got a big laugh from the studio audience and Easton alike when she said, "I know there are certain things that I know I'm not allowed to ask you. What are those things?"

Easton spoke more about the school's honor code, saying that even shaking hands with someone he found attractive could have been construed as a violation. "I mean, potentially. You know, any signs or show of homosexual feelings. Potentially, I have a male friend, if I gave him a hug, somebody could report me [under] the honor code, and, you know, I could be expelled for it."

"Even if he's just your friend?" Ellen asked in disbelief.

"Even if he's just my friend." Matthew verified. He went on to add that it was "really scary as a gay student; I'm trying to figure out my feelings, understand my faith."

Ellen empathized: "You're still Mormon, you want to be a Mormon, but you want to also want to live your authentic life... That must be very confusing."

"Yeah," Matthew agreed. "Something I've got to deal with every single day. I'm still dealing with it."

Matthew then explained that the white stole he wore at his graduation was intended to honor a fellow gay student who had come out on social media when they both were freshmen at BYU – and who committed suicide when he came under attack for having done so.

"He sat right in front of me," Matthew recalled, growing tearful. "And I saw him do that, and I thought: 'Is that my future?'... So, I thought if I came out at graduation, maybe a student like me, a freshman" could know that a brighter future was possible. Matthew told Ellen that "we can succeed, we can do what we want [to] accomplish our dreams, so that's why I chose to come out there."

Ellen and the studio audience responded with a round of applause.

As the interview drew to a close, Ellen and corporate sponsor Shutterfly made a special gift to the courageous new graduate: A check for $10,000. This was not the first time Ellen had showed such generosity to an inspiring young person; last year, Ellen spoke with a gay high school valedictorian who had lost his financial aid money for college after moving out of his parents' home. A teacher who saw his potential intervened, however, and with the help of a GoFundMe campaign the student, Seth Owen, raised tuition money and founded a scholarship for LGBTQ students in the same position he'd been in himself. Ellen and Cheerios made a contribution to that fund as part of their "One Million Acts of Good" campaign.

Seth made a return to Ellen's show earlier this year to talk about how he'd landed an internship with Democratic Florida congresswoman Stephanie Murphy.

Watch the clip from Ellen's chat with Matthew Easton below.