Alec Mapa :: Virgin Martini

Things have certainly changed. Alec Mapa knows it and doesn't take it for granted. As he says, "Let's be honest, I'm lucky to be alive. I have a past and it's colorful. A lot of my act now has been about speaking for people who weren't as lucky as me."

Mapa is bringing that act to San Diego in his first performance at Martinis Above Fourth Table + Stage, though it's not his first visit to the city. "I'm a Martinis Above Fourth virgin but I have so many friends who've played there, Anne Steele, Miss Coco Peru and Shawn Pelofsky. I've heard good things, so I can't wait!" He continued on, filling us in on the content of his... character... on stage. "I'm returning to my brand of stand-up, which if you've seen me before, always includes astute political observations and stories a farts and at least one story that ends with me po myself. It's an evening of wit and sophistication w the occasional dick joke." Funny things just neve go out of fashion, do they?

When discussing what has changed for him and the LGBT community in general over the last few years, "LGBT people are now mainstream," Mapa opined. "Remember when JC Penney dropped Ellen DeGeneres as a sponsor after she came out on her sitcom? I do."

He expanded on the milestone. "A few years ago, they hired her as a spokesperson. LGBT's aren't the political liability they were 20, even 30 years ago. I just had my own Showtime special talking about my gay marriage and our adoption. I couldn't have imagined that in
1995. Showtime aired my comedy special and didn't even highlight it
as a "gay" special. So, it's kind of a big deal... that being gay is no longer a big deal."

He has acquired all of the things most people dream of: A successful career, a lovely home, a wonderful child and a husband to whom he is happily married. They are not new concepts, but the "married with child" piece is a wonderful thing to be able to say and know it's "legal." The family piece came for Mapa and husband, Jamie Hebert, a few years back with the adoption of their son, Zion, whose impact on their lives was huge -- and continues to be.

"Having a kid means everything changes all the time," says Mapa. "It's a constantly evolving relationship because they're not the same person they were last month and as a result neither are you. The biggest change is my son. He's a giant. I'm wearing his hand-me-downs."

The boy has picked up more than a few things from his parents; "the teen years" have definitely hit. "He has two gay dads, so, he's a butch kid with an
evil queen's sarcasm. He's started calling me 'Diva' instead of Daddy."

Mapa did a stint as a columnist for The Advocate for a couple of years and would love to write again, because there are, as he says, "Tons of LGBT parents out there and I'd love to talk about our experiences; the struggle is real." Parenthood for LGBT parents is challenging to say the least, and for interracial families even more so. But, as he so eloquently said in one of his Advocate OpEds, "Luckily, the things my son needs most - safety, stability, love and affection - do not require us to be a specific ethnicity. Effective parenting requires us both be present and give our best effort on a daily basis."

When asked about what surprised he and partner, Jamie, the most about interracial parenting, both personally and in regard to the perceptions of others, Mapa didn't mince words. "I had no idea how ignorant and racist so many people on Facebook were, until I had a black child. Every unfortunate turn of events, from Ferguson to Sandra Bland, has been a forum for people to broadcast how stupid they are. I wish people cared about black churches burning down, the way they did about a torched CVS." He continued, "I was always a civil rights advocate, but now, as the father of a black son, every racial injustice affects my family directly. The worst is when gay people are racist - there is no excuse for it."

I couldn't agree more, sir. Serious words from a sophisticated, funny, funny man... and lucky for us, we get to see him live.

Alec Mapa is appearing on the Martinis Above Fourth stage on Wednesday and Thursday, September 2 and 3. For tickets and more information, call 619.400.4500 or go to martinisabovefourth.com