Gay NASCAR Driver Evan Darling Likes Living on the Edge

The only openly gay NASCAR Grand Am driver, Evan Darling has been going full bore since the time he was a young boy racing big wheels and BMX bikes. He moved on to motocross when his parents nixed go-carts, and eventually big muscle cars led to professional auto racing, where he excelled in both endurance and speed competitions.

Born into a conservative New England family, Darling has always been bucking the expected and doing it his way his whole life. "I'm from Andover, Massachusetts, Jay Leno's home town. When I was 16 I had my first car and I was showing off in the high school parking lot doing donuts," recalls Darling.

Darling's high-speed driving efforts earned him detention hall. And who should walk in to meet the bad boys, but comedian Jay Leno, returning to some of his early stomping grounds.

"He was a class clown in high school and spent a fair amount of time in the Hall as well. We hit it off. Jay loves cars and was at one time a motorcycle mechanic and I love tinkering with cars as well. We still keep in contact and talk to each other with some regularity. He's kept up with my career and encouraged me."

It was during high school that Evan began wrestling with his sexuality. ?"I'm not the kind of guy who is comfortable in the closet. I didn't want any skeletons haunting me later on in life so at 18 I decided to come out to my parents and friends."

His family didn't take it very well, sending him off to a psychiatrist for six weeks of therapy to try and cure him. At the end of that time the doctor told his parents that Evan was well adjusted and perfectly normal. They were the ones who were having problems with his sexuality, not Evan.

This didn't sit well with the folks. In 1995 his father, a well-known conservative attorney, represented the Irish American War Veterans in a lawsuit against the LGBT community over homosexual participation in Boston's Veterans Day Parade.

His brother Brian belonged to an anti-gay group in college and sported a "Great to be Straight" T-shirt just to irk Evan and assert his own sexual persuasion in case there were any doubters. Currently his brother is the Director of U.S. Senate Relations for the ultra-conservative Heritage Foundation.

"That was a little rough, but I came to terms with it." At this point Darling was taking classes at Northern Essex Community College in Massachusetts when his family stopped supporting his education.

"I felt disowned and decided to move to New York with the person I was dating. I enrolled in Architecture and Art classes at Parsons School of Design, but I couldn't afford to work and go to school and had to drop out."

He also broke up with his partner and eventually joined a friend in Florida, settling in Fort Lauderdale. His love of automobiles led him to work in a restoration shop and then he took a mechanics position with Jaguar. He later earned the title Master Technician and started working for Ferrari.

The itch to drive professionally started to become overpowering. "It was time for me to make the jump. I knew if I didn't I would regret it the rest of my life."

He began his amateur racing career in 2002, becoming the 2005 NASCAR Grand Am champion in his division. In 2007 he turned pro.

"I love auto racing and have a knack for it. Life and racing are the same for me. When you're driving a car and you come into the corner there's an instant you need to hit the brakes and turn the wheel so you don't lose control. The feeling of becoming one with the racecar is the same feeling as becoming one with yourself. You have to find the fine line of perfection and being able to just stay on that line is everything."

With his success came fame. In 2007 he made Out magazine's "Top 100" list under sports figures. "It's been great to go all the way and live out my dream. There's a risk to following your passion. You can be so focused that you completely miss out on the rest of your life. But the upside to that is when you do well at it the sense of fulfillment is amazing."

Being gay in a traditionally macho profession has been difficult. "It's a good old boy network and the last couple of years it's been tough to get cars and sponsors. I'm hoping that by telling my story some folks in the gay community will step up and support my team. I'm the gay Danica Patrick looking for his David Letterman."

Darling never hid his sexuality from the other drivers but didn't advertise it either. "I don't have a big gay flag on my racing suit. My partner always came to the races with me. And they never had an issue with that. However, since I've turned pro some of the teams have talked about me behind my back. They're just pussies, they don't want to talk to your face. If you ask them if there's a problem, they say 'no', they're okay with it but then you hear the stories of what they say behind your back. That's just how it is and I don't care. I'm happy and comfortable with myself and I think we should all be that way. The one thing you need to be is true to yourself."

Evan is absorbed by his sport and has begun transferring his knowledge to younger drivers. He's a dedicated teacher and offers private classes to students and accompanies them at various motor sport competitions across the country. "My passion for teaching comes from not having a lot of support when I was starting out. I like to give my students something I didn't have. When a student comes back after a few years and says I won a championship thanks to you, it's an incredible feeling for me."

Darling has also adopted The Trevor Project as his favorite charity. The Trevor Helpline is the only nationwide, around-the-clock crisis and suicide prevention helpline for LGBT youth. The organization was established in 1998 to coincide with the HBO airing of the award winning short film hosted by Ellen DeGeneres, "Trevor."

Trevor was a comedy/drama about a gay 13-year-old boy who, when rejected by friends because of his sexuality, attempts to take his own life. "A lot of kids take their lives and if they thought they could get some support and guidance, they wouldn't. The statistics are staggering; so many do it because they are not comfortable with their sexuality."

With Grand Am races televised on Speedvision, Darling would like to have "Trevor Project" painted on his car. He feels that adding the LGBT demographic to Speedvision's NASCAR viewership, the audience would be massive and he would be able to deliver a clear message.

Evan will be returning home for Christmas this year. His father is suffering from a severe illness and Evan wants to try and make peace. "We have had some rough times in the past and they still don't understand why I am who I am. I have accepted them as my parents and love them. I really don't think they will ever understand me but that is their problem. My father is pretty ill and I am not sure how long he will be around. I thought it best for me to see them over the holidays."

After meeting Evan Darling you learn that he is more than just a racecar driver. There is no doubt that he is a real life darling and a caring individual.

He's a man with a heavy foot and a big heart who's trying to make a difference in the tough world of motor sports. One can only hope that he'll keep taking the checkered flag and one day the sport will embrace him fully and his family will welcome him home this Christmas holiday with open nonjudgmental arms.