Karamo Brown :: OWNing Your Life

It has been a long, long ride since "The Real World" launched the fledgling Karamo Brown from the nest of the show's host city, Philadelphia, in 2004. Fame was quick and hot for a time, and somewhat fleeting for the 20-year-old once the cameras were silent and the lights turned off. The shock of "leaving the nest" made him flounder and, like most 20-somethings who are trying to figure out their next move, it took a minute for him to regain his wings.

As Brown said, "I was in this weird world of being known, but not recognized for any specific talent. It was a hard place to live in." When asked about the lasting things that he learned from the experience, he had this to say: "The biggest lesson I learned on MTV's 'The Real World' has to be that I was a mess in my 20s and I never want to be again (laughs). Having the opportunity to watch myself back then, I realized how unaware, misguided and angry I was. I'm so thankful for that opportunity though, because it forced me to grow and become a better man."

The show is known for its edginess and for pushing boundaries. For Brown, however, being gay was the least of his concerns -- though the boundary thing was at times, a little disconcerting. "I was fully comfortable with being openly gay. For me at the time, growing up in a conservative house, I felt uncomfortable about being intimate on camera. I kept thinking, 'What will my grandmother think?' But after a couple of weeks, I got over that quick - obviously, from all the naked shower/sex moments I had (laughs)."

How many of us have had that same thought process? The idea that our families finding out for many of us would be, at best, difficult or less than perfect, and it is something Brown can relate to. "You know... Inviting people into your life regarding your sexuality has its own unique challenges for every person. My biggest struggle was being from a Caribbean heritage. My parents were born in Jamaica - I'm first generation American. Knowing that my father, at the time, subscribed to many of the homophobic ideologies perpetuated by the Jamaican media and did not accept his openly gay son."

Ideologies that are still very much in place for many LGBT youth, and they can be devastating - or downright dangerous. "It was hard for me to know that my culture would rather see me dead than happy. Most members of the LGBT community can identify with that on some level... knowing that those you love and respect do not value the person you are. But, what I've realized, is that self love and finding a community of friends, including organizations that do see the value in me, give me the courage to continue living my life out, proud and open."

Brown was in for a shock in his young adulthood, nearly three years after "The Real World" ended. He came home one day to find a stack of papers on his doorstep, suing him for back support for a child that, up until then, he didn't know existed. As Karamo said, "I thought it was a joke at first, but quickly realized that being a 'fast' little boy had caught up with me." Rising to the challenge is something that he seems to do well, and this providential moment was one he took on happily. "Nobody... including myself, saw that coming. But, I believe God has a plan for each of us. Becoming a father has made me a better man and is one of the main reasons my career is flourishing."

In fact, taking over custody of his biological child was just the first step in the process... that, like most things in life, would lead to another challenge. "After getting custody of my biological child, I then adopted my son's younger brother (they have the same mother but different biological fathers). The process of getting him was a bit stressful, but this kid's mother is one of the most amazing women I have ever met. She supported the idea of him coming to live with me and then in my gaining custody of him."

Brown had plenty of help and is quick to point out from where and whom it came. "In most states, there are a lot of resources available to help LGBT individuals adopt a child. Those resources were invaluable in the process of adopting my youngest. But, it was truly the support of my son's selfless mother that made the process a good one."

Proud father is definitely a moniker that fits Karamo. His boys -- Jason (17) and Chris (14) -- and he have created a strong, solid family. When I asked about his boys, he glowingly said, "I've had them since they were so young that it blows my mind how big they are getting. I am so proud of them."

When asked to talk about the challenges and the rewards around being an LGBT parent and the things that they have faced, the response, sadly, wasn't too surprising. "The most challenging would be the ignorance we sometimes face from schools, teachers and other kids' parents who aren't comfortable with my kids having a gay dad." To combat that, he did what any good parent should do - he protected them by preparing them for what they might face. "I made sure to equip my kids with the love and the tools to handle that ignorance."

The rewards? Here comes the proud papa once again. "The most rewarding would be seeing them grow into these amazing men. I love how they apply the skills I've taught them in everyday situations."

As far as advice for other LGBT parents who are considering parenthood, he was emphatic in his counsel. "First, I would tell them that they will be great parents. Kids just want love; if your heart is open and you're willing to give unconditional love, you will be great. Secondly, there is a community of support available. If you seek it out, they will find it. Utilize support groups, because together, we are stronger as parents."

Paying it forward and giving back is important, and Brown does so with organizations that insure a better future for kids. "I am really big on backing organizations that support LGBT youth and, youth in general. Once I became a father, it really hit home that our children really are our future, and it is up to each of us to make sure that they are supported and loved."

He spoke earlier, of flourishing because of fatherhood and how the lessons helped him to be the man he has become. If you measure success solely by a man's career, then he is on a high right now, working within the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN) family. I asked him if it had always been a part of his plan to become a media maven. "I have always wanted to do it, but after the 'The Real World,' I lost my focus. So, I took a few years off, partially because I was raising my kids and partially to find my talent and voice. Once I knew who I was, I went after it 1,000 percent."

He hit the ground running once he moved back to California in 2011 and, as he said, "I started taking classes and working for anyone who would put a mic in my hand." Persistence paid off, as it often does. "After about a year and a half, the opportunity to host #OWNShow came about; when I heard about it, I knew it was mine. I went in and made sure to be my most authentic self and it worked. I have been hosting it for over a year now, and we just got renewed for a second season."

The success he found there has led to other exciting opportunities. "In the past several months, I started working with Dr. Drew as a nightly guest contributor on his live HLN show, 'Dr. Drew On Call,' which has been amazing. Being able to give my point of view as gay, black and a father on the latest news topics has been such a blessing. That and learning from Dr. Drew, who is a true talent, helps me to grow nightly."

The #OWNShow is the new exclusive digital series on Oprah.com, that Karamo shares with fellow hosts, Danisha Daniel Houston and Ami Desai. I asked him to describe the show. "We continue the different conversations being shared on all of the Oprah platforms (OWN, O Magazine, etc.) but we do it in bite size stackable videos."

The first question that came to mind was: Who chooses the content? "The producers really empower us (their hosts) to bring our voices to the pieces. They don't want robots. So, if we are discussing a topic and it resonates with me as a father, I share my thoughts and how it can be more relatable to our audience."

I admire Brown's focus and his successes. His children are a priority, and he has managed to build his life and raise his sons well. Maybe it is possible to have it all?

The lasting legacy he would like people to be left with is? "I hope that people, just by seeing me, realize that if I can do it... they can, too. My life is a testimonial about the power of love, faith and hard work."

Bravo Karamo, bravo.

You can see Karamo Brown on #OWNShow at oprah.com. You can also follow him on Instagram and Twitter @KaramoBrown