Bettyville: A Memoir

Sometimes you need to go home and remember who you were, just to see who you've become. Such is the case in George Hodgman's memoir "Bettyville". The author, a gay man, leaves his beloved New York behind, only to return to Paris (not France), Missouri to take care of his difficult and very much aging mother -- the perfect premise for humor and drip-off-your-face sobbing.

What gives the memoir its engaging kick is the closeness we feel with the characters -- whether we despise the old dame or not, we cannot dislike the lovely George. He's an out of work writer and sometime freelancer who packs up and heads to the aid of his stubborn mother -- the man comes with heart, even though he wanted to just pop over to his sick Mother and have it all fixed immediately -- something we all think will be the case. Life does not work in that way, unfortunately; much more time and effort are needed to learn the lessons uncompleted, and Hodgman reminds us of this constantly. Mother, given her dementia ("or worse"), needs much more attention, and George is the one to handle her (and all of her, at that) as he loses her to a disease that he cannot fathom at all.

George cannot help himself, and starts to reflect on his life and on something that he'd put aside in his city life quest. Soon he is thinking about his Southern upbringing, his lost loves, the religion that shaped him, and his love for his father but preference for his mother. He sounds like every queer boy in the city that finally, with the openness of the skies and the mindful quiet outside metropolis life, can see himself clearly again.

His mother Betty swallows his world, and he has no choice but to now face his gayness, his never having a coming out of the closet party and his loathing for himself. This might not be a new story, but it's an emotional and familiar piece of writing that opens up the sores that haven't yet healed for so many queers. Hodgman, although queer, brings this to a table of literature suited to a universal reader and writes beyond the gayness; something not many can do.

"Bettyville"
George Hodgman
Viking
$27.95