Margaret Cho at the Addison Improv

There wasn't a dry eye in the crowd at Margaret Cho's late night show at the Addison Improv on Friday, May 8. But you can be sure that they weren't tears of sadness. These were the kind of tears that come along with raucous laughter and insanely sore abs. Real talk? Cho is one funny bitch.

The room was full of Cho fans, gay and straight alike, though more on the gay side it seemed, some dramatically dressed for the occasion. Speaking of dressed, Dallas fashion icon and star of Lifetime TV's "Million Dollar Shoppers," Gregg Asher was front and center for the show with partner David Martin, both impeccably dressed as always.

Cho's touring partner in crime Selene Luna warmed up the crowd with talk of dating -- and sex -- while Little, which had everyone in the crowd laughing and shaking their heads. In a red checked number that she called her, "Texas BBQ dress," Luna cracked wise about her life as a Little Person before introducing Cho.

But she made a quick "housekeeping announcement" before she left the stage. "We need pot," she said. Everyone laughed, of course. "I'm fucking dead serious. And we need a lighter. But we don't need papers. We have an apple."

Cho then took the stage in kick ass, black leather pants and a neon green tee.

"I think stoners are the true Christians," she said without cracking a smile. "I think of weed more like a vegetable."

She was off and running -- paying homage to her father in comedy Robin Williams and her mother in comedy Joan Rivers and skewering everything and everyone from what a gay man would look like eating pussy to the irony of Rick Perry being gay and writing anti-gay legislation. She kept the crowd so busy laughing that you had to wonder if anyone was even bothering with breathing from the opening of her set to the close.

On "Fresh Off the Boat" being renewed and being called in as a consultant for the show.

"I'm like Chobi-wan Kenobe. My family was so fresh off the boat that all the food in my lunch box had eyes."

On racism:

"White people like to tell Asian people how to feel about race because they're too scared to tell black people."

On aging:

"I'm a little passed my sell-by date. But I'm still OK. Beige don't age."

On world peace:

"If there was an army of big boobed Asians, we could solve all the problems in the Middle East," she said giggling like a little girl, covering her mouth and making a peace sign.

On sleeping with men:

"I like white dick. Makes me feel exotic."

On lesbians:

"I know what lesbians are thinking because I'm dykic."

On drug addiction:

"At my lowest point as a drug addict, Bobby Brown asked me out and I thought, 'I need to get help.' We got so wasted Courtney Love would be like, "You guys I can't. I have to work tomorrow.'"

On online dating:

"I don't understand apps so I use Craigslist."

On not wanting to pay for porn:

"I will straight up come to a thumb nail."

On supporting Bruce Jenner's transition:

"I just wonder if he's going to transition into a Kardashian."

On pussy:

"I have a fat vagina. I have no junk in the trunk. I have junk under the hood.

You should have some fat on your vagina, like you should be able to lay your head on it... and hear the ocean."

On being a "dick widow": (aka a fag hag who gets left at the club when her fag picks someone up.)

"There should be an app with my face on it. I'll pick you up and take you to Kathy Griffins house. She's the head dick widow now that Joan Rivers is dead."

On eating pussy:

"I like it. I don't have these lines from smoking. Pussy can be strong. It's a lot... I'm not saying balls are a Glade Plug-in."

On her sexuality:

"I am the B in LGBT. The B is often silent."

On masturbating:

"My vibrator use has escalated. My vibrator is so big, I look out the window and all my neighbors' TVs are fucked up. I have to turn off my dryer to plug my vibrator in."

On once identifying as lesbian:

"I thought I was a lesbian for awhile. I like 'em real butch. You know the kind of woman who rolls her own tampons. But there's a side of me that likes dick. The inside."

On telling her mother she wanted to be a comedian:

"My mother said, 'Maybe it's better if you just die.'"

Margaret Cho performed May 8-10 at the Addison Improv, 4980 Beltline Road #250, Addison, TX 75254. For information on future shows, call 972-404-8501 or go to http://addison.comedyreservations.com/