Krampus

This is probably going to be the weirdest review I've written this year. Why? Because I have no idea how to explain to you why this holiday's horror comedy "Krampus" fails to work.

It has all of the elements to make it a new classic. In the beginning it has the feel of a film like "Gremlins." It's nostalgic, relatable, sort of charming, and the horror elements -- at first anyway -- are sort of funny and even whimsical. But as the film progresses, it just starts to fall apart. Neither scary nor funny, "Krampus" takes an actual German myth and then doesn't really do much with it. In fact, a lower budget film this year called "A Christmas Horror Story" tackled this legend with more coherence than the three writers credited on this Universal release.

Director Michael Dougherty (who brought us the fun horror anthology "Trick 'r Treat" and is also responsible for the scripts for "Superman Returns" and the upcoming "X-Men: Apocalypse") is clearly someone with a wicked imagination. There is such good mythology to start with that it's surprising that it ends up not working.

For the uninitiated, the Krampus is a horned, beast-like figure wrapped in chains and bells who punishes misbehaving children on Christmas. This is clearly the opposite of Santa, who offers presents to those children who are well-behaved. In Dougherty's spin on the legend, the Krampus comes to punish a family whose child starts to reject Christmas out of embarrassment that he still believes in Santa Claus. Right there the plot doesn't make a lot of sense. Why would the Krampus be mad that a kid doesn't believe in Santa Claus?

Anyway, the film opens with a bit of tongue and cheek, as Bing Crosby's "White Christmas" plays over scenes of marauding shoppers descending on a mall and beating each other up for merchandise. (Sadly, this attempt at humor mirrors real-life videos of morons killing themselves for a toaster. But I digress.) While it shows the hopelessness that begets the Christmas season, the point is soon jettisoned to focus on a family whose son beats up another boy during a Christmas pageant because someone says that Santa doesn't exist. The family consists of Mom Sarah (Toni Collette), dad Tom (Adam Scott), moody daughter Beth (Stefania LaVie Owen), grandmother Omi (Krista Stadler), and the aforementioned son Max (Emjay Anthony).

This disgruntled family is being joined for the holidays by Sarah's sister Linda (Allison Tolman) and her typically redneck-annoying husband Howard (David Koechner), their silent, obese son, bruiser middle-school age daughters, and an aunt with an attitude (Conchatta Ferrell). They also have a baby. No one wants this family with them, but they suck it up for the holidays in what is clearly just a way to have extra people in the house for the Krampus and his minions to pick off one by one.

Anyway, when little Max is found out to still be a believer in Santa and his letter to Santa is discovered by his butch cousins, he rips up the letter and throws it to the wind, where it is swept up into the sky. The Krampus evidently sees it and decides it's time to assault the non-believing family.

Immediately, a blistering snow storm rages around them and the next morning they wake up to no power and no cell phone service. And while Max is noticing ominous looking snowmen littering the front yard, Beth decides she must go see if her boyfriend is okay. So she takes off in the still-raging snowstorm, only to discover their neighborhood is abandoned and an odd looking beast is leaping from roof to roof.

So far the film is mostly effective, and this particular scene is playfully creepy. But something happens about midway through, when the horror gets nastier and a tad nonsensical. There are cartoon Gingerbread men, spooky elves that wear "Eyes Wide Shut" masks, a demonic teddy bear, and an oversized Jack-in-the-Box that eats people. The entire family ends up doing battle with these creatures in an effort to stave off the big baddie himself -- the Krampus.

What's so hard to pinpoint here is why this all goes so wrong. Why isn't it fun to see a crazed Gingerbread man attacking a family or snowmen that seem to be encroaching on the house? And the design of the Krampus is pretty awesome. But whereas "Gremlins" used its horror in very clever ways, here it just seems almost expected and without that much irony. When people get taken away or eaten, we don't know if we're supposed to laugh or be horrified. I mean, a baby gets snatched away, yet the tone is all black comedy, so I wasn't sure how I was supposed to be reacting.

And clearly neither does the cast. In one scene, both fathers decide to go search for daughter Beth only to find themselves being attacked by something unseen. At the same time, they hear the screams of Beth somewhere in the neighborhood. But when one of them is attacked by an unknown monster under the snow, the two just run back home and warn everyone to stay inside. Well, what about your daughter who is clearly somewhere nearby? When another child is snatched away, everyone is initially horrified, but soon after that they don't seem to be "that" upset. The entire film becomes a mess.

You could tell the audience I saw it with wasn't sure how to feel either. There were only occasional titters here and there during comedic moments, but the horror parts didn't generate any sort of reaction. It's certainly not a scary movie, nor is it all that suspenseful. It's not even that funny, so the whole thing is just sort of "meh" when it should have been a rip-roaring, rollicking ride of zaniness.

This is disappointing, because I loved Dougherty's "Trick 'r Treat." Even though that film was only momentarily scary, it was clever and had a solid sense of fun to it. The cast here is admirable, but I kept wondering what Toni Collette saw in the script that made her want to do the film. She certainly adds a bit of class to the project, as does Adam Scott and even Conchata Ferrell as a boozy aunt. But that's the other thing: The characters are all such stereotypical movie tropes there was nothing new to catch our interest. The son is the innocent who wants the best for his disjointed family, the teenage daughter is typically rolling her eyes and being bitchy, the aunt is a drunk, Grandma is overly mysterious (and oddly only speaks German even though she clearly lived in American her whole life), and Sarah's family is about as sitcom ready as they come. In that, there's nothing special about the characters and as a result, there's not much the cast can do with them.

Dougherty is certainly a talented director, and I hope he comes into his own in the future. Sadly, this was not his best work, despite a solid base in which to start. Methinks he best be locking the door, because I have a feeling the Krampus might be paying him a visit this holiday season.