The Offering

Where do I start with this one? Originally titled "The Faith of Anna Waters," the film's title was changed to "The Offering," most likely so it wouldn't be confused with the uptick of religious themed films like "Miracles from Heaven" or any of Kirk Cameron's nonsense. In reality, this is Singapore director Kelvin Tong's ("The Maid") first English-language film, and it's so ridiculously problematic it borders on farcical.

Written by Tong, the film is a crumpled mass of horror movie clich�s, random, ill-fitting ideas, and really bad acting. Someone asked me what the film was about after I watched it, and I was hard-pressed to explain the plot. It begins with a girl named Jamie (Elizabeth Rice), who finds out (via email) her sister has died and immediately sets out for Singapore. There, she is told that her sister killed herself by asphyxiation. When Jamie states her sister would "never kill herself," she is shown a recording of her sister doing just that, because "she accidentally left her web cam on." Really? By accident? Sitting in front of her computer and talking right to the screen?

As shocking as watching your sister smother herself to death might be, Jamie isn't really bothered by it. In fact, no one in the film is bothered by much. Ghosts appear. Figures show up out of nowhere. Yet no one screams. No one is weirded out. They just say, "Why'd you move that creepy mannequin with the old-fashioned diving helmet onto the couch in the living room while I was in there with your disturbed daughter?"

Anyway, Jamie goes to take care of her niece Katie (Adina Herz), who is in denial that her mother is actually dead -- even though she found her stone cold. Meanwhile, Katie is having Morse-code conversations with a mysterious figure with a flashlight, and keeps seeing a ghostly apparition that she continually runs after, hoping it's her mother.

On the other side of town, Fr. James De Silva (Colin Borgonon) is being approached by Father Matthew Tan (Adrian Pang) about the fact he thinks the Tower of Babel is rising again, and that will bring about an indescribable evil.

There are a handful of other characters that pop up with their own creepy shenanigans happening, and somehow it is all supposed to come together, but by the time Tong tries to string these threads into one garment you've been pulling on the frayed ends and unraveling the whole thing faster than the director can tie it together.

Ultimately, someone ends up possessed and tied to a chair. Everyone watches on in shock and horror as the possessed spews hateful things at the priest who's trying to get rid of the victim's demon.

To be fair, there are a few sequences that almost work and employ some nifty special effects that make the film seem more high-profile than it is. But one of the biggest problems (aside from the script) is the editing, which is so hapless it makes no sense. Even the sequence where Jamie finds out her sister is dead is so ineffective it's as if Jamie was just told her Chinese food arrived and she has to go to the front door to get it.

That said, Rice does her best to navigate the muddy waters of Tong's script, and Matthew Settle (remember him?) adds what little star-power he can; but even he seems like he's lost all ability to get words out of his mouth. It's truly boggling.

Blame all of this on Tong, who is completely out of his element in English-language territory. The script is a convoluted mess, and ultimately nonsensical. "The Offering" doesn't give you much, so the advice I have to propose is to keep your donations for a better horror offering.