The Brand New Testament

Being a huge fan of director Jaco Van Dormael's "Mr. Nobody," I was excited for his latest film, "The Brand New Testament."

The fantastical farcical plot revolves around a "what if" scenario in which God (Nenoit Poelvoorde) - who is kind of a dick - is human and lives in Brussels with his mostly silent wife (Yolande Moreau) and rebellious young daughter, Ea (Pili Groyne). His son Jesus (David Mrugia) has run away, and Ea wants to follow suit. You see, dad/God spends his days locked away in a large room in his apartment creating the world and causing havoc for its inhabitants. The room is off limits to his family, but after he falls asleep one afternoon Ea decides to wreak some havoc of her own by compromising dad's computer and revealing the dates of death for everyone in the world. As a result, anyone with a cell phone is texted how much time they have left, and it starts to change how people live. Jesus also tells her how to escape the apartment she's never been able to leave, and to go find six of her own apostles to add to his twelve so they can make it an even eighteen -- like a baseball team.

Ea finds the files of six random people and goes about seeking them out and writing their stories down so that she can make her own Brand New Testament. But why? Just to piss off dad?

I have no idea.

The problem with this somewhat whimsical tale is that it spends its time not explaining anything. Why is Ea looking for Apostles, and what will they do for her? Most of the film is spent telling the tales of each Apostle, but once she's collected them all we're not quite sure what the point is. Not to mention a last minute, ticking clock problem is solved by a secondary character, rather than by the protagonist of the film. So it's all just sort of random nonsense, with a few moments of insight.

Some have stated the film is about choice or divine intervention, and praise the inventive visual storytelling. Sure, there is talent here, but the message still doesn't seem all that clear. The wackiness of the filmmaking has become so common, it doesn't even feel original anymore. In fact it's so quirky it feels as if Wes Anderson hijacked Dormael's brain and made his first foreign film. As I'm not a fan of Anderson and his relentless eccentricity, this didn't do it for me, either. Rent "Mr. Nobody" instead.