Love Never Dies

By a certain standard, "Love Never Dies" at Broadway San Jose is a win-win proposition.

If this 2010 sequel to Andrew Lloyd Webber's "The Phantom of the Opera" turns out to be better than its reputation then audiences get a pleasant surprise. And if it really is all that bad then at least there's a certain warped satisfaction in finally finding out.

Set ten years after "Phantom" (as the lyrics remind us in virtually every song), "Love Never Dies" moves the action from Paris to Coney Island, of all places.

It turns out that the Phantom (Icelandic opera singer Gardar Thor Cortes, who can't seem scrub an Italian effect from his singing voice) is not actually dead but just went into the carnival business. Of course.

He runs a sideshow cabaret staffed by what everyone calls "freaks" even though of the ensemble just seem to be people with misguided wardrobe choices. Coney Island lacks a certain luster compared to the old opera house, but at least Gabriela Tylesova's sets and their twinkling, firefly-like lights are vivid.

It takes all of 30 seconds for the principle problem with "Love Never Dies" to emerge, that being Webber's mostly limp and redundant score.

Not only does the opening number "Til I Hear You Sing" make Cortes sound tentative and distracted, it uses up three minutes telling us only that the Phantom is still pining away for Christine, something zero percent of ticket holders wouldn't assume already.

Cortes might be the least compelling and sensitive Phantom ever to wear the mask, but since the show strips the character of all of his mystique, allure, and even most of his musicality there are limits on what he could do anyway.

The first big ensemble number, "Coney Island Waltz," is at least catchy and compelling, but it also sounds as unlike the rest of the show as possible. The misshapen sets, riotous atmosphere, and almost abusive application of a fog machine during numbers like this remind us of metal videos from the '80s, although that's admittedly not always a bad thing.

Christine (Meghan Picerno, who has a voice seemingly crafted just for this role but few numbers that put it to truly good use) comes to sing in New York and the Phantom lures her to the carnival for an ill-advised reunion. "Love Never Dies" is, in essence, the story of the world's most elaborate and disastrous drunk dial.

Rather than high melodrama in the style of "Phantom," this fitful and loosely held together plot is mostly a series of catty disagreements and amazingly silly twists. The Phantom wants Christine to sing at his show, and that's about as high as the stakes get for two-plus hours.

The entire show builds up to that single big solo (the title song), but when it finally comes it's a fairly dreary and amateurish number that Picerno's voice can't salvage. It's hard to kick the suspicion, in fact, that this is a number Webber axed from some previous musical.

Some audiences might still love "Love Never Dies" for ironical reasons. Consider: This is a show in which Raoul (Sean Thompson, a trooper in the world's most thankless part) gets loaded one night and stakes his marriage in a bar bet with the Phantom. Because that sure does make sense, right?

(By the way, the Phantom is the bartender during that scene. Makes you wonder what kind of tip to leave.)

Director Simon Philips might have a hit on his hands if he exploited the sheer lunacy of it all for laughs, but instead "Love Never Dies" tries to play everything as straight as possible. Which turns out to be essentially not possible.

We should reserve a special note for Casey Lyons, the young actor who played Christine's son on opening night and has a voice that could make a statue weep. He's at the center of the play's most baffling and skin-crawling plot twist, but if he minds, he didn't let on. Sharp kid.

Truth be known, those motivated by macabre curiosity at this first and possibly last tour of "Love Never Dies" probably should hit it up.

Few will leave feeling moved, but there is some satisfaction in finally throwing back the curtain on one of the world's weirdest cultural artifacts and seeing, yep, it's just like everyone warned all along.

"Love Never Dies" plays through March 18 at the San Jose Performing Arts Center, 255 South Almaden. For tickets and information, call 408-792-4548 or visit BroadwaySanJose.com