Watch: MAGA = 'My Associates Got Arrested' in Randy Rainbow's Latest Opus

Kilian Melloy READ TIME: 4 MIN.

What becomes The Donald most? Why, a bright red MAGA hat, of course, and with the arrest of Roger Stone – bringing the number of Trump associates thus far to face charges in the Mueller investigation to an even half dozen – those letters more and more really do stand for "My Associates Got Arrested," as the wags have it.

Enter musical political satirist Randy Rainbow with a fresh new take on the news in the form of a music video that takes the tune of Kander & Ebb's "Cell Block Tango" (from the musical "Chicago") and updates it with ripped-from-the-headlines lyrical relevance.

As photos of the snappily-dressed Stone flash by, Rainbow notes that he "has been indicted on multiple charges, including lying, obstructing justice, witness tampering... and lacking basic fashion sense."

Rainbow then checks off three of the five Trump associates to be charged prior to Stone: Michael Flynn, George Papadopoulos, Rick Gates, and goes on to note that Trump "fixer" Michael Cohen entered a guilty plea, while Trump's former campaign chairman, Paul Manafort, "was convicted on eight felony counts – only because on the other ten counts the jury was hung." After a knowing pause, during which the music ceases momentarily, Rainbow adds, "And, incidentally, the only thing in that sentence that will ever be described as hung."

The music resumes with flair as the signature chorus of multiple Randys pops up, attired in black-and-white-striped jail garb, to deliver the next passage:

"They had it comin' – they had it comin' – they got real Machiavellian."

Rainbow, clad in an orange prison jumpsuit and clutching a cup of coffee, appears then and suggests, "Look it up."

The reference, of course, is to Niccol� Machiavelli, the Italian 16th century Italian political figure who wrote "The Prince," a how-to book, published in 1593, detailing dirty tricks including systematic lying and murder that is regarded as the go-to text for those wishing to understand – or practice – a time-honored, if ugly, method of gaining and wielding power.

"Just wait and see next," the prison-garb chorus adds. "Who will it be next?"

"Oh god, I'll laugh if it's Kellyanne," orange jumpsuit Rainbow declares.

"You know how people have these little habits that get you down?" a prison garb-wearing Rainbow depicted as standing in a dungeon muses. "Like, cracking their knuckles, or implicating you in a criminal conspiracy to mislead the American people in order to influence an election? D. T. hates that! So it's no wonder that he's violated Title XVIII United States Code 15.12 by intimidating witnesses like his former fixer, who's already cooperating with the feds. And there's no telling who might flip on Donald next!

The section of the U.S. Code Rainbow cites, Chapter 15, is subtitled, "Claims and Services in Matters Affecting Government."

"Thank god he can at least count on the loyalty of his longtime pal Roger Stone, who swears he would never do his boo like that."

A screenshot of a tweet from Trump appears, time-stamped 10:48 a.m., Dec. 18, 2018, which reads: " 'I will never testify against Trump.' This statement was recently made by Roger Stone, essentially stating that he will not be forced by a rogue and out of control prosecutor to make up lies and stories about 'President Trump.' Nice to know that some people still have 'guts!' "

"I mean," Rainbow continues, "imagine a fine, upstanding, delusional rat bastard con artist and self-described dirty trickster who dresses like a 'Dick Tracy' villain and idolizes Richard Nixon going back on his word in an act of self-interest?" Chuckles Rainbow: "I mean... I really wouldn't worry about it, Donald."

But Rainbow's ditty is not entirely celebratory in contemplating the possible downfall of America's 45th president (and the fifth in American history to take the office of president president despite having lost the popular vote... though the president can take solace in knowing his loss of the popular vote was by the largest margin of those five cases). Rainbow also offers his sympathies to "Individual One," sighing that "it's lonely" for him and pointing out, "Even his own wife is starting to turn on him."

At that juncture, a photo of South Carolina Republican Senator Lindsay Graham appears. Graham, a Trump cheerleader, recently tweeted his support for the highly controversial idea, floated by Trump, that unless Congress agrees to billions of taxpayer dollars being spent to construct a barrier along the Southern border, the president might attempt to unilaterally order the wall built using redirected monies under a declaration of a national emergency.

"Luckily," Rainbow goes on to point out, "he has the genuine support of true and unbiased sycophantic media whores... like Giuliani," the former mayor of New York City who now acts as the president's attorney (and who declared earlier this month that he never said "there was no collusion" between the Trump campaign and Russia in 2016 – rather, he insisted, he had claimed there was no collusion between "the president of the United States" and a hostile foreign power that evidence indicates launched a deliberate and systematic campaign to influence the outcome of that election.

Watch the video in its entirety below.


by Kilian Melloy

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