What Men Want

Listen, I know that we've all done plenty of bad stuff, especially when it comes to cinema. Hell, there have been six "Transformers" movies, and they've all made money (like a lot of money). That's our fault, I know that. But despite our own transgressions, when confronted by "What Men Want" I am only able to muster a vague and necessary question: Why? What did we do to have this evil thrust upon us? Whatever it was, just please tell us how we can atone and make it so that this never happens again.

Ali Davis is tough to beat when it comes to sports agents. She is unapologetically driven and poised to be named the latest partner at her sports agency. But at the time of the big announcement, one of her idiot male coworkers ends up earning the new title. Frustrated and grappling with the question of whether or not a woman can even excel in her field, she remains determined to become a partner. Following a complicated night that involves some tea from a questionable psychic and light head trauma, Ali awakes to find that she can now hear men's thoughts. Is her new power the piece that was missing from her achieving her goals?

With all due respect to the cinematic peaks that a well-executed Nancy Meyers romantic comedy is able to achieve, "What Women Want" is far from a masterpiece. With a plot and lead actor that has aged about as well as a glass of milk left on the counter, part of me can understand the appeal to remaking the film with a more empowered female point of view. You could even argue that the standard romantic comedy of the '90s and early '00s is having something of a resurgence. But here's the thing: "What Men Want" is neither empowered nor a good romantic comedy. If anything, "What Men Want" may actually be a step backward for women (at least in comparison to "What Women Want").

At least in the original film Mel Gibson's character is kept from success by the fact that he's a chauvinist jerk. This time around, Taraji P. Henson's lead character is kept from the thing that she wants by a tired glass ceiling. In fact, where "What Women Want" could admit to the faults of its main character, "What Men Want" seems to actually be suggesting that the only thing that Ali learned from her power was to make more time for the male relationships in her life. It's almost as if a man directed this thing.

I have some news that is going to blow your mind: This Blu-ray release of a generic and poorly made film is also generic and poorly made. You will find absolutely nothing within the special features of this release that could even suggest that "What Men Want" is any better than it actually is. After seeing the number of special features that I have at this point, you get numb to just how paint-by-numbers the majority of them truly are. But occasionally, you are treated to such unrepentant laziness, that it doesn't even allow you to ignore it in a fog of boredom. Not so in the case of "What Men Want." One special feature, a gag reel that contains the same number of laughs as the entire film (read: None), boasts an introduction by director Adam Shankman. Oh cool, you may think, until you see said introduction in which the director of a big budget movie sports a grin that must consume excrement and haughtily says, "Here's our gag reel." That's it. Seriously. Save yourself and avoid every element of "What Men Want" that you possibly can. You will be better for it.

"What Men Want"
Blu-ray + DVD + Digital Copy
$19.96
https://www.paramount.com/movies/what-men-want