Me

Because of his ubiquity since the early 1970s, it can be easy to forget that Elton John has been a revolutionary figure in the LGBTQ+ movement. As he describes, he was a short, chubby British piano-pounding youngster who wore outrageously fun costumes onstage. He never shied away from queerness, embracing flamboyance as a key component of his performative aesthetic. To back up his style, Elton's musicianship and sense of songcraft have always been top-notch even in eras where his artistic output suffered. He has regularly turned out what could be considered "family-friendly" hits such as "Rocket Man," "Crocodile Rock," "Bennie and the Jets" and so many more. It didn't seem to matter that the parent albums of such hits also include risqu� songs such as "I Think I'm Going to Kill Myself," a jaunty number replete with a tap dance solo in the middle, and "All the Girls Love Alice," a homoerotic lesbian drama with a somewhat dark twist. And on the rare occasion, Elton could score a somewhat subversive hit single – "The Bitch is Back," which longtime lyricist Bernie Taupin wrote in the wake of an Elton tantrum, causing Taupin's girlfriend at the time to utter the title phrase. But the opposing light and dark forces apparent in his public persona were blown up to scale behind the scenes, especially at the height of his fame, plagued by bouts with several addictions.

All throughout, Elton never issued denials about his sexual orientation, never insisted he was straight and just looking for the "right girl." In fact, he came out as bisexual to Rolling Stone magazine in 1976. When he married recording engineer Renate Blauel in 1984, there was no dubious proclamation of his long-standing and latent heterosexuality. Elton always kept company with equally as queer figures such as Long John Baldry, Billie Jean King, Freddie Mercury, and George Michael. And as his new memoir "ME" elaborates upon, he maintained a very active gay life behind the scenes. It's also worth reminding: In the 1970s/80s pre-Internet age of popular culture, if a pop star didn't issue a "coming out" statement to the press, it signified being "in the closet" regardless of what might be known of their private life. Even when Elton did officially come out in 1992 – simultaneously announcing the forming of the Elton John AIDS Foundation – it wasn't much of a surprise because his career had always carried a strong queer subtext. Elton explores much of this, and more, throughout "ME."

Other books and documentaries have captured the pillars of Elton's story – from his upbringing as an only child in a tumultuous household, to early recognition of his prodigious talents; from the life-changing introduction to Taupin through a Liberty Records audition, to the peaks and valleys of their success together; from his addictive personality, to his sobriety. The 1991 documentary "Two Rooms: Celebrating the Songs of Elton John and Bernie Taupin" uses these pillars to center discussion on their musical output; the documentary was also tied to a tribute album of the same name, featuring interviews with many of the artists who contributed to the recording. "Tantrums and Tiaras," a 1997 documentary by Elton's husband David Furnish, is more illuminating in how it blatantly focuses on the light/dark sides of the artist's personality (an opening scene where Elton tears into the crew on the set of his "Believe" video is incredibly uncomfortable). The closest all-encompassing account, at least prior to 2019, was Philip Norman's 1991 biography, which included interviews with many of Elton's friends, family, business associates and band members. What was absent in Norman's book was the all-consuming role drugs, sex, and other addictions played in Elton's life – whether this was an editorial decision, or omission on the part of the author, interviewees, and/or publisher is hard to know. After the book's release, in an interview with Norman for Rolling Stone magazine, Elton commended the author for his thorough work.

While this year's biopic fantasy-musical "Rocketman" trades in much of the same pillars – boy rises to fame, only to struggle with drugs and eventually find sobriety – throughout "ME," Elton elaborates much further, which is to be expected. At the heart of the book is his decade and a half struggle with alcohol, bulimia, sex, spending, and even more pervasively, cocaine addictions. Aside from the social settings where he engaged in substance abuse and promiscuity, some of the cocaine-addled tales he includes can be embarrassingly funny – such as the myth of staying in a hotel with a brisk wind outside, infuriated and calling on a bewildered record company to do something about the weather. Or an instance with George Harrison and Bob Dylan where a coke-addled Elton insisted on changing Dylan's attire immediately: "We can't have you in those terrible clothes, darling."

Elton also details the isolation that drug and alcohol addiction can impose – describing periods in which he never left his home, wore only a bathrobe, often covered in vomit, chopping and snorting lines of coke and downing booze from early morning hours. Not just horrific, Elton poignantly elucidates the pain and sadness of that period of his life. Before wanting to stop, an addict will concoct rationales for cutting back substance use without ceasing entirely. At one point in the 80s, Elton shares that he smoked joints in order to "take the edge off" all the cocaine he had been snorting. Of course, Elton cops to the fact that his addictive personality meant that pot couldn't just be something fun to smoke – it suddenly became another vice that eventually led to the discovery of nodules in his throat that required surgery (evidenced in his ragged vocal performances on the otherwise fine 1987 album "Live with the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra").

Some of the starker moments of realization come from befriending the family of AIDS casualty Ryan White (who contracted the disease through a blood transfusion and passed away in 1990) and witnessing his deteriorating health up close; and from an incident with Hugh, and ex-boyfriend who entered rehab and confronted Elton about his addiction problems when the artist came to visit. Also included in "ME" is Elton's goodbye letter to cocaine, written during his 1990 stint in rehab, a farewell that moved Taupin to tears when he read it.

As to be expected, the rest of the book is rife with details about Elton's friendships with Rod Stewart (mutually antagonistic but always fun), George Michael (whom Elton calls the sweetest and most "ludicrously talented" person he had known), and Freddie Mercury. Brief as it is, his account of visiting Mercury toward the end of his life, bed-ridden and nearly blind from AIDS-related complications, provides context for just how devastating the epidemic was in 1991. Elton contends that, if Mercury had lived another year, the wider availability of drug cocktails at that time might have saved Mercury's life. A good reminder of both the heartbreaking losses (and Elton shares plenty throughout the book's recounting of the 1980s in particular) and the progress that has been made in the time since toward ending the disease.

In addition, the tragic losses of friends such as John Lennon (memorialized in the John/Taupin song "Empty Garden"), Gianni Versace, and Princess Diana (with detail about his performance of the re-written "Candle in the Wind" at his 1997 funeral). Reveling in the luxuries and friendships fame affords him, Elton is also very candid about the relationships he maintains with non-famous people – for instance, he regularly holds class reunions at his home for friends from his school days when he was just Reginald Dwight (Elton's birthname). Such accounts throughout "ME" paint Elton not merely as a name-dropping celebrity (although he treads dangerously close at moments), but as someone who really just loves people. Throughout the book, we see how this was driven in childhood and early adulthood by a deep need for affirmation; and then in his sobriety, compelled by his desire to be less self-centered and more compassionate and empathetic.

In terms of music, only select works – such as his landmark self-titled second album (1970) and, to a lesser extent, "The Lion King" soundtrack (1994) – get much detailed analysis. Albums such as "Leather Jackets" (1986) and "The Big Picture" (1997) are discussed as both Elton's and Bernie's choices, respectively, for the biggest dud in their catalogue. Elton astutely admits he isn't the best judge of his own work (he initially hated "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me," which of course went on to become one of his signature hits), but his assessment of "Leather Jackets" as a coke-addled mess is spot-on. But Bernie's take on "The Big Picture" is particularly intriguing, becoming the catalyst for the duo to ditch adult-contemporary production aesthetics for the more the rootsy country/rock albums they would write, beginning with the fine "Songs From the West Coast" in 2001. Otherwise, there is a paucity of detail in places that might have shed light on the duo's artistic process – such as 1973's sprawling "Goodbye Yellowbrick Road" double-album, and more autobiographical works like "Made in England" (1995) and "The Captain and the Kid" (2006).

Throughout, Elton's writing is crisp and candid. If there are moments that lag and dip into gossipy terrain (encountering problems with Tina Turner for a performance on VH-1 Divas Live), they're not belabored. The book also contains plenty of never before seen photos, and the overall presentation – especially the cover image, an iconic representation of the artist – is absolutely fitting. "ME" should sate the appetites of Elton fans wanting to hear him tell his story. But the book should also appeal to those who might not necessarily be fans, but still curious to know more about the legend of Elton John. And without question, "ME" is also a book that – even if Elton and his publisher hadn't intended it this way – could become essential reading for anyone struggling substance abuse and addiction: The story of an extraordinary public figure who dealt with a common problem, all of the heartache it entails, and came out on the other end not only alive but also equipped with the tools to find fulfillment in the sobriety of everyday life.

"ME"
By Elton John
$30 (hardcover)
Elton John Official Store and Henry Holt and Company