Review: 'Little Monsters' a Beastly Mess

Nostalgia is a hell of a thing. The dwelling, the reminiscing; it can be quite delightful. But, oh, the things that that wonderful nostalgia can cloud. I saw "Little Monsters" as a child or, at least, I thought that I had seen it. Now that I have revisited the adventures of Maurice the monster and Brian the tween, I'm not so sure. If my latest experience of struggling through this pedestrian and altogether annoying piece of '80s trash is any indication, sometimes nostalgia can be a protector.

The Stevenson family has just moved to the suburbs of Boston. For Mr. and Mrs. Stevenson it's the opportunity to renovate the house of their dreams, but for older brother Brian, it's just another way his parents are screwing up his life. New to town, Brian is left friendless and looking for direction. Little does he know that his first real friend is hiding under his bed.

I don't know for whom "Little Monsters" was made. The colorful monsters, the manic energy, the child lead, and the PG rating all seem to suggest that this a movie for children. But, like so many "movies for children" from the '80s, it has the potential to really screw some kids up. "Little Monsters" is positively overloaded with child-inappropriate subplots, many of which will leave you scratching your head at their inclusion. A fair amount of time is spent on the deteriorating nature of Mr. and Mrs. Stevenson's marriage, but only, seemingly, as a backdrop. The effects of a marital separation are never even hinted at, and both of the children mostly ignore it (even when being confronted with it directly). "Little Monsters" just doesn't have time to unpack something this deep.

What "Little Monsters" does have time for is horrible writing delivered with zero charm. Fred Savage is as good as you remember him (i.e., fine), and is easily outshone by his younger brother, Ben. Howie Mandel's performance, however, is tougher to explain. Imagine the manic energy of Robin Williams' Genie, but with none of the smarts, humor, or charisma. From the second that Mandel's Maurice charges onto the screen, I wanted to rip out my own eyes and shove pencils into both of my ears. He is scattered and relentless in his ability to annoy. No element of his performance is redeeming; he gleefully yanks this movie into the realm of the unwatchable. He should never be forgiven for this cinematic sin.

For those of confusing taste that have an unabashed love for "Little Monsters," the Blu-ray release doesn't disappoint. It is packed with features, including a slew of new interviews (best: Special Makeup Effects Creator Robert Short; worst: more time with Howie Mandel) and an all-new feature audio commentary. This is a release that does its fans proud, even if those fans are severely misguided. "Little Monsters" is an insufferable journey into the chaotic mind of a hyperactive adolescent. It is 100 minutes of nails on a chalkboard and, in a more just world, would have resulted in the end of Howie Mandel's career.

"Little Monsters"
Collector's Series - Blu-ray + Digital
$9.99
https://www.lionsgatepublicity.com/home-entertainment/little-monsters