Author Michael Alvear Says We Need to Talk About Bottoms

Michael Alvear got his start in writing about sex because Dan Savage said no. That was some 20 years ago when the best-known sex columnist would not sell his column to gay newspaper. One company, Window Media, reached out to Alvear and his career as a writer about sex was born.

Since then he has been writing about health, diet and well-being for such websites and publications as WebMD, The Washington Post, the Los Angeles Times and The New York Times, as well as an occasional sex advice column for the Huffington Post. He's also been a frequent contributor to National Public Radio's "All Things Considered," and co-hosted HBO's "Sex Inspectors," the first sex makeover series on television.

Amongst his numerous books are "Not Tonight Dear, I Feel Fat: How To Stop Worrying About Your Body & Have Great Sex," "Sex Inspectors Master Class: How To Have An Amazing Sex Life (based on the TV series)," "Men Are Pigs But We Love Bacon," a "best of" collection of his sex advice columns, "From Text To Sex: How To Text Your Way To A Date Or A Hookup " and "Blow Yourself Away: How To Turn Blowjobs Into Mind-Blowing Experiences FOR YOURSELF."

The latest in his snarky-titled books may prove to be his most popular – "How To Bottom Like A Porn Star, Second Edition" It follows from its companion book, "How To Top Like A Porn Star," and answers questions as to how adult male performers take the most enormous penises with ease. No doubt both books in tandem would make a terrific holiday surprise for the tops and bottoms in your life.

EDGE spoke to Alvear about the physical risks of bottoming, drug use and why a top should read his book.

Michael Alvear: Back in the day, about 20 years ago, Dan Savage, would not sell his column to gay newspapers. There was a group called Window Media which owned a bunch of newspapers and the editor told me that he wanted a sex advice column because Dan Savage wouldn't publish his column, so he wanted to recreate a sex advice column that was funny, entertaining with good information. That's how it was born, because Dan Savage said "No."

EDGE: Why write about how to be a bottom?

Michael Alvear: Well, it is not something that comes naturally. We are talking about a body part that was designed to have things go out of it, not into it. So, I think there is a lot of misconceptions about it. My original idea was to write a book about how porn stars manage the pain and clean themselves out. If you think about it, how do these porn stars bottom for these guys that are hung like the Florida panhandle? I researched to interview porn stars, directors, and producers because I wanted to know what their secrets were. When I finally got the results back about how they answered the questions, I knew my book was over because there was no secret. Instead of revealing the secrets of the porn stars, I came up with my own idea of the 60-second Sphincter Release.

Understanding bottom shaming

EDGE: I would think being a bottom is more masculine than being a top. You are giving them the respect that they finally deserve?

Michael Alvear: I have never really thought of bottoming as being more masculine. I like that. I wish I had interviewed you for the book. That is something that should be in my book. If masculinity is about control, the guy at the bottom controls everything. I never understood the bottom shaming part of our culture. Why would you shame someone for something that they like? The fact that you like to receive doesn't say anything about your masculinity.

EDGE: Using humor can be tricky when writing and you use it effortlessly. How did you see humor playing a part in writing this book?

Michael Alvear: Thank you for noticing! I love writing humor. I love laughing and the effect that it has on people. I learn better with it, so I wanted to give that back to my readers. When I read someone like Dan Savage, to me, is a god. When I read gay authors, I feel so touched and connected to them, because they are just not teaching me something, they are sharing something with me. In my books, I never say what my preferences are. I never say what I like and don't like or what I prefer. That is not how I want people to relate to me – not because I am a top or a bottom. I want them to relate to me for my sense of humor. I want that to be the human connection.

Favorite positiona

EDGE: A lot of people use poppers for sex, but you say they shouldn't. Why?

Michael Alvear: I want to be very careful about my answer. I am no schoolmarm and I have done my share of drugs. My things about drugs is that before you exercise your option to use them you need to understand what the risk are. Once you understand them, both short and long term, and you still want to do it, at least you are making a choice with knowledge. The thing about poppers is there is the physical danger – you could faint, or you could possibly die if you mix it with Viagra. You are never going to learn to bottom without and you will become dependent on it.

EDGE: In doing research, what were some of the favorite positions for both bottoms and tops?

Michael Alvear: That is such a personal preference. Preferences come from two dimensions: one is how you are built. As I say in the book, most people think their undercarriage is built like an apartment building garbage shoot. It's not, its curvy. That curve gets straighten by certain positions. Namely, any position that puts your knees to a 90-degree angle of your torso. I didn't stress this enough in the book, but if you have a really tight S-curve, it's going to hurt. Then there is a psychological preference – squatting may be the most painless position, but if you are seeking the "Holy Grail" of submissive, it is hard to do that if you are on top. That is not the preferred position for someone who wants to feel the power of a man owning him.

Does size matter?

EDGE: For some bottoms, size really does matter. Is there a size and shape penis that works best for a bottom?

Michael Alvear: Again, that question has to do with anatomy and how you are built. Have you ever seen people who are double-jointed? They can do things with their body that is unthinkable to us but is natural for them. If that can be true for outside of our body, why can't it be true for inside of our body. Some people can take any size or shape penis.

EDGE: Is it better to practice with a dildo or a butt plug?

Michael Alvear: A butt plug! A dildo is built like a penis. It is basically a replica of a penis. The head of the penis is the biggest part. The butt plug is shaped better. It starts small and then gets bigger, so you can start the process of stretching and learning to take any size penis.

EDGE: Are there any long-term health concerns that a bottom should watch out for?

Michael Alvear: If you are not using poppers or drugs that will cause health concerns for you. The problem with using drugs or poppers is that they mask pain. When you mask pain, the pain receptors are dulled. That doesn't mean there wasn't harm done to the anal lining. So, that can create all kinds of problems. That aside, there are some concerns about anal cancer, but it is like 1% of people.

EDGE: You wrote this for bottoms, but why should tops read it?

Michael Alvear: When I first started doing research for my book, "How to Top like a Porn Star," everyone was like why you would write a book about being a top. It's like a Thanksgiving meal, you just spread the legs and shove it in. They are clearly not tops. Tops should absolutely read this book. We all want to be better lovers. If you're the top, you want to be the kind of guy that everyone wants to be under and if you're the bottom you want to be the kind of guy that everyone wants to get on top of. So, it behooves us all, no matter what side of the fence you are on to understand what the issues are for each side. I would also say that people who bottom should read "How to Top like a Porn Star." If you want a better experience, you want to understand what is going on with the guy in top.

For more information about "How to Bottom Like a Porn Star, Second Edition," visit this website.

Watch this promotional video for "How to Bottom Like a Porn Star, Second Edition" (age restricted due to content):