'Parallel Journey' – Actor Sydney James Harcourt Relates to his Repressed MMA Fighter in New Queer Film

The premise of the new queer film "I'm Not Gay A Musical" follows what happens when Misha, a closeted MMA fighter, addicted with pain meds, finds himself being treated on Fire Island by an eclectic psychiatrist. During treatment, he falls in love with a house on the island, but learns that its potential owner needs to be gay.

"Misha will have to overcome his past trauma to convince his neighbors that he is one of them by helping them win the local dance competition, all while keeping everything secret from his teenage daughter and the head of the underground fight club back in the city," reads a press release.

Playing Misha is queer actor Sydney James Harcourt, who is best-known for having replaced Leslie Odom, Jr. in the Broadway production of "Hamilton," playing Aaron Burr. Harcourt had been with the show from its beginnings at the New York Public Theater, where he was a member of the chorus and an understudy for a number of characters, including Burr. Initially he was hired to cover George Washington, but asked also to do Burr and King George. When the show moved to Broadway, he added Jefferson and Lafayette.

He was also the only openly gay actor in the original cast, having come out at 15 in an inverse of his character in "I'm Not Gay A Musical," who goes back in the closet after a queer experience. "Being the only out gay guy, starting from the workshop and the original Off-Broadway cast, it was difficult in an environment that felt very masculinity-focused. It's been hard, especially for black gay men to find a voice in the broader black community," he told the Broadway Blog.

His other theatrical credits include "The Lion King," "Bells Are Ringing," "American Idiot," and the original Public Theater cast of "Girl From the North Country." On screen, Harcourt has been seen in "Blue Bloods," "NCIS: New Orleans," "Elementary," "Younger," "The Good Wife," "Law & Order," and Disney's "Enchanted."

EDGE spoke to Harcourt about what attracted him to "I'm Not Gay A Musical," how he relates to Misha, and his favorite songs in the film.

EDGE: What drew you to "I'm Not Gay A Musical?"

Sydney James Harcourt: If I'm being 100% honest it was because of the song "The Mess Inside". It's a big song with an emotional backstory about my character, Misha. It was one of those moments for me as a singer where I heard the song and didn't want anyone else to originate it. For me as an artist, I've always loved the classic sound of music, and, in terms of a shows, I love what's new and exciting.

EDGE: Tell us about your character, Misha?

Sydney James Harcourt: Misha has a darkness in him. He's a bit tortured and a loner. He had a traumatic experience when he was younger while he was a training be a dancer, and that led him to becoming a fighter. The film is about his journey and trying to find a place where he feels whole. His doctor tells him to get therapy and recommends [a therapist] who lives on Fire Island. He finds a house that he wants, but has to pretend to be gay in order to get it.

EDGE: How did you connect to Misha's struggles?

Sydney James Harcourt: Like Misha, I danced in my teenage years. That was how I first got involved in Broadway. I had reached a certain point in my career, that I had to stop going to dance auditions if I ever wanted to be taken seriously as a singer. I do love dance. I danced in "Hamilton," and I was an "American idiot." I just felt like we were both on this parallel journey.

Like me, Misha is someone who's been expressing himself through dance. I think it's hard for people to find identity and find where they fall on this spectrum that we seem to have now. On one end it's hetero, and the other end is gay or whatever we're calling it now. I had those conversations in my head: "Am I a boy or a girl?" I think a lot of us do, whether we admit it or not. Part of his struggle is he can't accept the soft sides of himself. He views that as a weakness. I think that the soft sides of yourself are your most powerful. I grew up in Detroit. Try being a mixed overweight gay kid in public school in Detroit, my god!

EDGE: There are so many intense moments. How did you decompress at the end of the day?

Sydney James Harcourt: I bought a travel bathtub. I'm used to having one, and the place where I was staying did not. A bath is part of my daily regimen. I had a fellow dancer in "Hamilton" teach me to take an Epsom salt and rubbing alcohol bath after performances to help with recovery. I got on Amazon, and I ordered a portable bathtub. After filming the dark and difficult stuff, I would relax in my bath.

EDGE: The film toggles between black and white and color. What's the significance behind it?

Sydney James Harcourt: I'll tell you when I see it. I would guess that it delineates the difference between what feels like fantasy and the suppressed version of this world that you've experienced when you are not going through life in your authenticity. Knowing our writer/director, Scott Semer, that seems like it would be the purpose, and thinking about it – I love it.

EDGE: My favorite songs in the film are the campy "Beautiful Gays" and "Keep it Straight." Do you have a favorite?

Sydney James Harcourt: Well, one of my favorite experiences for sure was "Beautiful Gay." I dance in it momentarily in the middle of the song, but otherwise they're showing me the number in the movie. They did that in entire takes every time. I sat there on a chair and watched them do that probably seven full times. It was wild and fun. It's hard to choose, but my standouts are "Here in this House" [and] "I Want to See the Fighting Light," because that's, like, my Pussycat Dolls fantasy moment. I loved being in a box and looking sexy under the shadowy lights.

EDGE: "Can't Take the Light Away" is a powerful song. Tell us about it?

Sydney James Harcourt: Oh, I'm so happy to hear you say that. It's this experience of innocence and before we've put on all of the things that society like tells to put on. It's a song that demands your personal freedom, like George Michael's "Freedom." You can't allow someone to suppress your own light because of what they think or they feel. That's just not relevant in your life. So, you have to make a commitment to live for yourself and be happy. That song really resonated with me, both spiritually and professionally.

EDGE: Misha is having a conversation with his therapist, and I love the line "Where is the place that you are truly alive?" Where are you most alive?

Sydney James Harcourt: In the middle of a song.

EDGE: What are you hoping that the viewer is going to take away from this film?

Sydney James Harcourt: I hope that it does the thing that I believe a good fantasy does, which is completely absorb you and take you away from whatever your day has given you. One of the great things about the film is the variety of characters that it gives us, and all the different ways they affect us. I want the viewer to find where their happiness lies, or to start looking for it.

"I'm Not Gay A Musical" is scheduled for release through streaming services on April 11, 2023. For more information, follow this link.